This guide will cover how to unlock the secret Aperture Desk Job achievement. Ahora, before you say ‘But warp28, there aren’t any achievements’, let me explain. This achievement is so well hidden that Valve purposefully made it look like the achievement doesn’t even exist by not showing it. Well don’t worry, I’m here to help you get it. Just make sure that you follow each step as accurately as possible!
Paso 1
Está bien, so first of all you just need to start a new game. Wait until you get to the part where you have to test the toilets, then input the famous Konami cheat code: Arriba, Arriba, Abajo, Abajo, Izquierda, Bien, Izquierda, Bien, B, A, Comenzar (start = menu on an Xbox controller and if you’re using a Playstation controller, hit the touchpad.) Nothing should visibly happen, but you’ve just activated the achievement!
Paso 2
De acuerdo, so continue playing until you reach the part where all the sentient washing machines and other appliances are shooting at you. Make sure to destroy EXACTLY 3 de ellos, no more or less. (If you know Valve at least a little well, you can imagine why they chose this amount.) When you’ve destroyed 3, wait until you reach Cave Johnson’s office for Step 3.
Paso 3
Está bien, this is the final and by far the hardest part of the achievement! In order to finally obtain the achievement, you need to destroy Cave Johnson’s giant stone head in a very specific way. You need to shoot both of the eyes exactly 4 veces, la nariz 6 veces, the forehead twice, and finally keep shooting his chin until you destroy it. Por fin, the achievement will pop up on your screen, congratulating you on your valiant efforts! Except it won’t. Because the achievement never existed. Con un poco de suerte, you already knew this and are reading this guide purely for fun, but if you’re some unfortunate 8-year old that went through all the effort to get this non-existent achievement for nothing,
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